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[QUOTE=randombum]If 2 permanents in play have an ability that activates at a time, such as the beginning of the end step, who chooses which happens first?[/QUOTE]

Simple answer:
The guy who controls the abilities says what order they happen in.



Official over-complicated rules answer:
If multiple effects controlled by multiple players would be placed on the stack simultaneously, then the order goes as follows:

By the Active Player Non-Active Player rule (APNAP), first the active player (the guy who's turn it is) will place his abilities on the stack. He may place his abilities on the stack in any order.

Then, the remaining players will, in turn order, place their abilities on the stack, in any order.

Next, players will have a chance to cast spells and activate abilities.

Then the abilities will begin to resolve in reverse order of how they were placed on the stack.

Players have a chance to cast spells and activate abilities between resolutions.

that simple answer is misleading as the active player doesn't get to chose the order of abilities he doesn't control.