I have an issue with the general you picked out because it has to die. Anytime a general goes back to the commander zone it costs 2 more colorless to play it next time around. She will become unreasonably expensive fast even for EDH
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Just a few things i see that really bug me 1st off the seraph sanctuary doesnt belong. 1st of its offering not much in terms of mana and you dont have angels its only a good land in a mono color heavy angel deck. The other thing is the fact that there is absolutly no synergy between red black and green I dont see why you pulled out 3 colors. If i had been you i would have gone actualy cut out the green and gone red/black and used a 45 card deck to really step up the speed. The key to a good draft deck is simplicity and speed. Last thing is never pull a raging poltragiest he sucks in draft he is slow and dies on attack 1.
i Built a deck very similar and let me say it speeds along so fast my opponent cant keep up