StrategicMuffinExhausted

Bro I don't know how you're missing this.

"Morph {U} (You may play this face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)"

" play this face down as a 2/2 creature for {3}."

" play this ... 2/2 ... {3}."

"PLAY THIS ... {3}."

I really don't know how I can make it any more clear. It costs {3} to cost, the morph cost is {U}. The CMC is 8, but if you're casting it for its full cost, you're doing something wrong.

Lots of removal, but you might want to think about some draw. Removal lives or dies on what it's got in its hand. Luckily, Black's got some pretty rad stuff going. Sign in Blood is always amazing, Decree of Pain just got a cool looking reprint (great for lategame, useful if drawn a little earlier). Also consider Phyrexian Arena, Phyrexian Rager and Underworld Connections.

Also think about Necroplasm: it's a great little card that'll keep the board clear until you need to make a bigger play.

Wheel of Fate? Reforge the Soul? Cerebral Vortex?

If you do end up adding Howling Mine etc, look into Molten Psyche as well.

Don't forget to add Groundskeeper/Crucible of Worlds in there. The combo makes much more sense when you add them into the equation.

"SWAG literally means "Secretly We Are Gay." It was invented in the 1960s."

This is a dumb myth created by the internet.

I'm leery about using too many dual lands, because so many abilities in this deck specify "basic land" and I'm kinda reliant on it. I've nuked some stuff to move up from 20 --> 23 lands and added a bit more dual stuff in there, but I don't know what to take out at this point, if push comes to shove.

The game isn't always about making the perfect deck. Sometimes it's about doing something awesome.

There was a cool article somebody from Wizards wrote ages back, where they said they made cards like Scornful Egoist and Goblin Test Pilot to see what cool combos players would come up with. It's a "this card's got an average costing cost but a HUGE CMC, now go you beautiful lunatics, and do something with it," sorta deal.

You're missing the point. It's a card that costs 3 to play, with a CMC of 8. There's cool synergies you can play with there. It's not the best card ever printed, but it's a card that a smart player can pull cool combos with. Think about Rush of Knowledge, or Dispersal Shield in the context of this guy.

Good point. Changed to Evolving Wilds instead because I like the art better, but basically the same thing.

Cool thought. I'm trying not to knock the mana balance around too much by removing any more black, but I've chucked it in the sideboard to play around with it.

Good ideas all, though I'm not sure what to remove to put them in there. I've sideboarded them for the time being: the sideboard was pretty weak and gimmicky before now. Thanks man. :)

I've got a really similar deck with the exact same name (!) kicking about:

http://www.mtgvault.com/strategicmuffinexhausted/decks/stopping-hitting-yourself-20/

plenty of ideas in there. Definitely look into Boros Reckoner, Pariah, High Priest of Penance, and Pariah.

Never. Such a thing is impossible, unthinkable. There are few things worse: perhaps running out of tea, though that too is impossible.

Assume the position, citizen.

Our strategic military muffin supply has not reached its peak, nor will it ever. We will always have muffins. You may have heard that our enemy are developing superior muffins, or even heretical nonsense about 'scones' but rest assured, it is false: the blabbering of idiots.

All who challenge our breakfast superiority will be fed scrambled eggs until their stomachs explode.

Maybe Sign in Blood? Every black deck can benefit from it.

Skullcrack in the sideboard? Nice counter for lifegain decks. You've still got two more spaces in the sideboard.

Oh, and Pyroclasm. More board clearing might slow you down a little, but it'll increase the reliability a whole lot.

Chain Reaction? Nice friend for Blasphemous Act. You might also wanna consider some draw: this deck will live or die depending on what you've got in your hand.

+1 for the name alone. I love clever title.

No Leonin Shikari? That's a ridiculously good card. Gives you all sorts of flexibility for a low, low price.